Developing a Positive Attitude

The dictionary defines attitude as the feeling or state of mind toward some matter. However, we can express it mathematically as:

Attitude is some function of Thought + Feeling = Belief that causes Action

Or

Attitude is some function of (+)Thought + (+)Feeling = (+)Belief that causes (Desirable) Action


Or

Attitude is some function of (-) Thought + (-) Feeling = (-) Belief that causes Undesirable/no) Action

In short, whatever action we take whether it?s desirable, undesirable or none is determined by our belief which is created by combining our thoughts and feelings that are the reflection of our attitude. Therefore, if we wish to experience the things we want in life, we must be willing to maintain a positive attitude in order to believe in the desired outcome and to take the right action.

Parenthetically, we may have positive thoughts, but negative feelings, and vice versa, that will result in our inability or our unwillingness to believe in our ability to achieve our goals or our desired good.

The Law of Attraction

Simply stated, ?Thoughts held in mind, reproduce after their kind,? therefore, the creative power of thought is reflected in the essence of our lives and the ways in which we live them. Emerson said, ?A man is what he thinks about, all day long.?
Despite the sexist reference, this statement is no less true and can be verified by honest self assessment. However, to quote Shakespeare, ?That is the rub.? No doubt, often we are totally unwilling not to blame others, fate and unfortunate circumstances for the substance of our existence.

Feeling Behaviors

Some years ago, William Glasser, in his book, Stations of the Mind, talked about ?feeling behaviors.? For example, if we become angry or depressed as the result of some event, anger or depression is a logical outcome. However, if we continue to be angry or depressed, according to Glasser, we would, beyond some point, not be angry, we would be angering and we would not be depressed, we would be depressing. In other words, a person would be choosing the behavior. Such a choice might be to avoid responsibility, to engender sympathy or for some other equally contrary reason.

Unworthiness

The internal struggle with past experiences may be so deeply rooted in the unconscious that no matter how hard we strive to achieve some worthy objective, we may feel completely unworthy of accomplishment. If this is the case, we will have to work mightily to reprogram and expunge the negative self-imagery in order to accept what we say we desire. Since we always choose to label our experiences we can confirm this by Shakespeare when he said, ?Nothing is neither good no bad, but thinking makes it so.?

How can we change our attitude?

Some believe that changing attitude with a corresponding behavior change is impossible, while some think an ?attitude adjustment? is a minor matter and easily achieved. Both notions are wrong in the extreme; however, attitudinal change requires commitment and determination beyond what the faint of heart or weak of resolve might expect. Consider these steps:

Take an honest look at your life and determine the extent to which you are satisfied or dissatisfied with your level of achievement, whether you have met your own expectations physically, financially or in your relationships. If you are satisfied stop reading and continue as before. If you are dissatisfied, continue to step 2.
Identify a word or a phrase, an affirmation or a picture that, when held in mind, brings your mind?s eye to a place of peace and tranquility. Repeat the words or experience the vision to such as extent that whenever you begin to experience a negative thought of any kind, that you can instantly go to your place of peace.
When you begin to engage a negative thought, e.g., criticism of another, fear of any kind, notions of unworthiness, etc., quickly go your place of refuge and move from the negative state to a positive state of mind. It is not necessary that you never experience negative thoughts or feelings, but as soon as you recognize the circumstances that you take dominion over your mind and get to safety as quickly as possible.

For these steps to work, you must believe in the possibility, accept your responsibility for your life?s circumstances and become willing to make a conscious effort to live life in the light of positive energy.

Gratitude

The significance of gratitude cannot be minimized. Seeking each day to identify the events and situations in life for which we can be grateful is paramount to our ability to find peace within and to maintain a positive consciousness. Gratitude is a relative term, which allows us to be grateful for any circumstance that might otherwise become worse without our conscious determination to experience its relative merits. For example, if we have a common variety of the flu, we can be grateful that we don?t have the Hong Cong flu or some other even more debilitating strain.

Forgiveness

Perhaps forgiveness is the toughest nut of all. Whether you have been ill-used or whether you witness the conscionable harm exacted on others, if you truly wish to achieve a positive state of being, you must express forgiveness of each person or each set of circumstances. Forgiving the 9\11 hijackers might be the most severe example of our time. You can forgive them, not because they didn?t know what they were doing to the three thousand that they killed, you can forgive them because they didn?t know what they would do to you.

Reinforcing Behaviors

While the world you have made is your own and since you and no one else is responsible for your experience, there can be value in communicating your intention to one or more partners, who themselves are seeking to achieve the same life-changing ideal as you. Regular meetings of such a support group may serve to reinforce you efforts and help you, and them, overcome disappointment when negativity persists as a source of periodic frustration.

A final thought

While we are unlikely to achieve perfection of attitude, unblemished by negativity, we can believe that the possibility exists. However, we can take heart that the more we seek to maintain dominion over our consciousness the more the outcome will become to our satisfaction.