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Emphatic Listening
EMPHATIC LISTENING How do we learn to communicate more effectively, even when we may be under tremendous stress both personally and professionally? Maybe we first need to understand both the definition and value of listening emphatically. According to Covey, "Emphatic (from empathy) listening gets inside another person's frame of reference. You look out through it, you see the world the way they see the world, you understand their paradigm, you understand how they feel." This definition is clearly suggesting that we learn to get inside another’s world before we can understand how our goals and dreams can merge with another's. Although we may be suffering from the loss of a position or a job, our best hope of recovering from that occurrence is through interaction with others (often called networking or personal contact development). There is an interesting paradigm which goes hand-in-hand with listening. The more we listen the more we are heard. If we understand and embrace this principle, the likelihood of success in whatever endeavor we attempt to accomplish is great and therein lies its value. Madeleine York York Career Development, Inc. Houston-Austin 866-502-8258 office 512-565-8506 mobile www.yorkinc.com myork@yorkinc.com
It's Not What You Say
IT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAY As a child I remember being told children should be seen and not heard. The underlying philosophy I believe was to show respect for parents and authority figures; however, I believe 'way back then' adults didn't believe children or young adults had much to offer to any conversation. Be that as it may, I contend that today's adults would be well served to listen to the advice they received as children with a small adjustment. To quote Steven Covey, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, habit # 5 Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood. As an educated and sophisticated society, we have mistakenly adopted the attitude that our time is so valuable we cannot listen to the needs, ideas, desires and dreams of others. We are so involved with accomplishing, acquiring and making it to the top that we forgot what may have been the most vital element of our earliest successes-listening. If we were fortunate in our early education we had a teacher or parent, maybe both, who possessed good listening skills. They listened intently to our tales-both good and not so good-about school or home. Maybe we had a teacher who showed interest in our social life or our future dreams. Maybe our parents listened to our goals of becoming an astronaut or a physician or a dentist. You knew they were listening but they did more than that-the also heard what you said. What is the difference? I may listen to the words someone is speaking with absolutely no emotion or potential response because I am only listening to the words. However, if I hear what someone is saying I am in tune with their feelings and desires and somehow I connect with them. I can actually see their dream put into place because I am where they are-at least for the moment.
I am by profession a management career consultant. When people ask me what I do for a living and I tell them I am a management career consultant and they nod their head (you know how people nod their head when they have heard the words but have no idea what you have just said) I know they have no interest in knowing what a management career consultant does, they were just passing an idle moment or filling in some empty space until someone else showed up. That's alright because not everyone is truly interested in what another is saying. However, we also know the energy felt when someone who is interested continues the conversation with a change in body language -a smile or a tilt of the head- and asks 'what does a management career consultant do?' Now I know this person has heard me. When I work with people on their communication skills, I talk about the usual things such as body language, words, image, attitude, and appearance. I have a 'pie chart' I use with people which poses the following question: "How Are You Evaluated On A Job Interview" and then continues to break down the following criteria: Attitude-Appearance-Skills-Communication. The statistics on how one is judged in these three areas are as follows: Attitude 40%, Appearance 25 %, Communication 25% and Qualifications 10%. Two things happen when I show this graph to someone. First, if they are listening (and reading the headings in this case is a form of listening) they are confused and surprised at the low percentage related to qualifications. If they are not listening (read the words but did not hear the message) they look at me, maybe shrug their shoulders as if it made total sense. When the latter happens, I probe the individual asking him/her to explain the chart and what they understand it to mean. This dialogue usually leads into a discussion about the merits of our communication skills over the skills already proven on some document previously submitted to the potential employer, such as a resume.
And then I begin to talk about Covey's Habit #5. Why is it so important that we first seek to understand another before we can be understood? People like to be heard and recognized. It doesn't matter who the person is or what his/her position is, everyone wants to know that their opinions, concerns, dreams and goals matter. If I don't value your dreams and understand your goals, what is the likelihood you will be energized by the conversation enough to listen to my desires and concerns. I often give the following example when discussing the merits of good listening skills during an interview. I think I am prepared to interview for a much desired position. I have my research complete, I have reconfirmed the date and time, I have prepared my questions and I am ready. Maybe too ready! The interview starts with the traditional "Why don't you tell me a little about yourself" followed by the interviewer telling me about the position and the company. Some information is probably shared which could not be obtained prior to the interview. But I don't listen because I am only thinking about what I will say when it is 'my turn' to talk. That time does eventually come and I start telling the interviewer about my accomplishments, which are above average. I can see I am creating an impression as I watch body language. I have done well. I leave the room. The interviewer is intrigued, but not necessarily by my accomplishments, but by my failure to promote that or those skills which he is seeking from such a person. This is a common mistake made by all of us who get so caught up in our own world and fail to listen to the needs of others. Recently I worked with someone starting his own business. He offered his background in healthcare to rural hospitals who were looking to hire new CEO's or top level administrators. I talked with him about communication and he shared an interesting scenario. He and the Board of Directors of a rural hospital had just completed the search process for a new CEO. After all the candidates were interviewed, the discussion about whom to hire came down to one consideration. What question was not asked? Four of the five candidates did not ask the Board about the mission of the hospital. This is one of those times when listening-not only with our ears but also with our heart-paid off for one person. He heard what they did say and proceeded to ask specifically for clarification so he would understand the direction of the hospital. Only through active listening can we achieve true communication. However, hearing the underlying message during the interview is critical to effective communication. If I am interviewing for a position and I do not listen to the verbal as well as to the non-verbal cues given to me by the interviewer, I will not be as successful as the person who has learned to 'hear the message.' For instance: Ø What values do you share with this organization? Ø What is their management and communication style?
Ø What are their immediate and long range needs? These issues may be verbalized, but more often than not, the message is subtle especially in the initial phase of the discussion. At the point that both parties believe there is a possible 'fit' in-depth conversations may be more revealing. However, this is also the time when we may let our desire to secure a position override our ability to understand and hear beyond the words. Consider the following scenario. John, my goal for this organization is to double in size in the next two years. I anticipate you would play a major role achieving that goal. Your background and previous accomplishments suggest this could be a very exciting opportunity for you and your family. Let's look at some key words and phrases. My goal. This could have been a slip of the tongue but it may also suggest that this person is only interested in what he wants to achieve and by how much and in what time frame. What does that mean for the new person? I anticipate. The interviewer is uncertain how much of a part John will play in achieving this goal. Is this a test to see how John responds to this ambivalent statement or is he really not sure of how John can contribute or to what extent his skills provide him with the tools to reach this goal? Your background...suggests. Again, what is the real meaning of this statement. Does John need to reaffirm his ability to be successful in this position? Does John just hear the ending to that statement, Exciting opportunity for you. This is the close. John probably did not hear the words just prior to 'exciting opportunity for you' could be a very exciting opportunity for you. Unless John is hearing everything the interviewer has said he will probably leave the interview expecting a job offer even though it may not be the best opportunity for him.
How could John have saved himself the anxiety and frustration one usually experiences after a job interview? How could he have remained proactive during the process? What questions could John have asked which may have suggested to both the interviewer and John that this particular position may not be a 'fit'? Let's suggest John do the following. Ø Ask the interviewer if there are any questions regarding his ability to do the job. Ø Let the interviewer know that he wants the job (if indeed he does). Showing up for a job interview does not automatically suggest a high interest level in the position. Ø Clarify both the companies goals and John's goals. This would result in a clearer picture for both the interviewer and John which is critical if a 'fit' is to be achieved. Madeleine York York Career Development, Inc. Houston-Austin 866-502-8258 office 512-565-8506 mobile www.yorkinc.com myork@yorkinc.com
An Alternative To Termination
SOLVING EMPLOYEE PROBLEMS AS AN ALTERNATIVE TO TERMINATION By Norman J. York About seventy-five percent of the candidates who come into outplacement today lose their jobs because of "fit" issues. Something changes. A new CEO comes in and brings along his own CFO. Or maybe he doesn't get along with a member of the team. In short, the marriage doesn't work, and in the long run, the change will benefit all concerned, if handled with consideration and compassion. Despite the fact that some "fit" issues cannot or should not be resolved, many can be if the firm desires to keep a person who might otherwise be terminated and is willing to take action early enough to address the problem and to formulate a solution before the issues grow beyond the point of remediation. First, even with competent outplacement counseling and support, job loss is a challenge that will continue to test the mettle of the displacement employee and his family. While most outplacement candidates do find new opportunities commensurate with their former positions, the strain on their psychological, social, physical, and financial resources is a challenge that can well be avoided under certain circumstances. Second, the effective cost to the firm of termination and replacement can easily exceed one hundred percent of the employee's total annual cash compensation when the cost of severance, outplacement, and search are considered. Not to mention the indirect costs of lost productivity, morale, and trust on the part of remaining employees. Finally, finding and keeping good people will become increasingly difficult as firms begin to experience the full impact of the poor quality of American education and a diminished work ethic on the part of available employees. A major thrust of the work of York Career Development, Inc. now, and in the future, is to intervene within an organization in order to remediate the interpersonal difficulties that are frequently the root of the "fit" problem itself. I recently worked with a senior executive of a major corporation who had brought the organization through the dark days of the recession and had led it to an acceptable level of profitability only to find himself "out of sync" with his new boss, whose leadership style and philosophy were different. Understanding the effective reality of the direct and indirect costs associated with the situation could have saved this valuable employee. The time to initiate the remediation process is when things begin to go sour between an executive or an organization and an individual or group. I frequently ask a client, when I am called in to discuss an impending termination, "If you could save this person, would you do so," only to be told, "No, we think it's too late." Had I been given the latitude to work with this person in a Career Continuation Program, the only risk would have been the loss of a few weeks. A few months ago, we began a Career Continuation Program with the controller of one of our high-tech clients. Yet two weeks after we began to work with the individual and his boss, we all concurred that it was too late and that the employee would be better off to leave. In a sad post mortem, the CEO said, "If we had brought you in six months ago, this thing could have had a different outcome." I suspect that his words apply to many situations. Madeleine York York Career Development, Inc. Houston-Austin 866-502-8258 office 512-565-8506 mobile www.yorkinc.com myork@yorkinc.com
Developing Your Power to Set and Achieve Goals
Developing Your Power to Set and Achieve Goals Only about 10% of people ever really set goals and less than half of them actually use a process that will maximize the probability of success. Of course, not setting a goal is in itself setting a goal for a fragmentary existence. Nearly thirty years ago Paul J. Meyer? formulated a five step process designed to achieve the full impact of the creativity of belief and the combination of intellect and emotion--thought and feeling. Step 1--Focus Your Thinking. In order to gain the full intellectual impact, write down your goals, i.e., your motives, as specifically as you can. Define what you want to achieve as clearly as possible. While you can set goals for any area of your life using this process, you need now to focus only on the career goals that will motivate you to move toward that place in which you can make the greatest contribution, derive the greatest satisfaction on a daily basis, and from these two achieve a proper reward.
Step 2--Develop a Plan with a Deadline. Achieving any worthwhile objective requires planning. Setting a goal without developing a plan for its attainment is foolhardy. Of equal importance is setting a deadline providing a timeframe within which the action will be executed. You need to identify the obstacles for achievement and formulate strategies to overcome each. Setting a reasonable deadline may be very difficult for you since you may not have a good basis for knowing what to expect. Don't set too short a deadline, lest you miss it and become discouraged. And don't set too long a deadline, lest you tend to procrastinate. One way is to use a benchmark such as for every increment of $10,000 you seek, you should allow one month. However, that's just a benchmark and with commitment to your goal, maintaining a high consciousness, and working the methods effectively you can expect to beat it. It's not unusual for people to set a goal that's so far out of their experience and one for which they state too short a deadline that there is no logic to their plan. People who do such things are playing games. They don't expect the system to work--and of course for them it won't. While perhaps not completely linear, there is a trade-off between the qualitative factors in the goal, position, title, location, reward, etc. and the time that will be required to achieve it. Depending on your circumstances, if you set a career goal with many high quality variables, it may take longer to achieve it, but it will be worth the wait. Step 3--Create a Burning Desire. If you are like most people you may find that part of your difficulty is that you don't really have a burning desire to do anything unless you are already strongly oriented to achieve a specific goal. If you do have a burning desire to do something, even, if it's outside the realm of your basic experience and training, don't deny the possibility. True desire comes from within--indeed, the term means (de)from the (sire) father. Perhaps you're an engineer who has always really wanted to teach high school math and science. Maybe your parents pushed you into engineering despite your wishes. If you are dissatisfied with engineering or you're on the street because the market for engineers is shrinking and you lacked zeal in your work, it's time for you to go within and listen. Ask for guidance and you'll get it. If you don't have a desire it can be created by using the power tools of affirmation and visualization that will provide the emotional reinforcement (feeling) dimension that will be needed to create true belief. We'll discuss the power tools shortly.
In order to identify those areas of career activity that will create true desire requires honest self-examination. You may want to spend extended time in thought and meditation to determine the best direction for your talents. However, since you are at a crossroads in your life, don't deny any area of true interest that you may have otherwise been suppressing up to now. Of course, there are tests of aptitude and interest that may help you get a handle on the situation. We live in a society that places emphasis on three E's--Education, Experience, and Environment. However, these are sterile conditions and they have little to do with our true potential unless we have carefully followed a career path that blends our intellectual and emotional talents. We should place our emphasis on three I's--Imagination, Intuition, and Inspiration. The development of our creative powers will have far more to do to bring us peace and true success than the three E's, i.e., intellect alone. Step 4--Develop Supreme Confidence. You may have heard it said that with enough confidence you can accomplish any task. And this is true for all intents and purposes. People fail most often because their negative unconscious programming so often causes them to doubt their own ability to succeed at a given task. Therefore, if you are experiencing such a circumstance in your own life, the first thing you must to is to change the programming. Otherwise you will not likely be able to attain the goals you seek no matter how strongly you may desire them. Don't berate yourself for failures that stem from unconscious conditioning. Understand the nature of the conditioning, that you can observe from successive failures and frustrations, accept the responsibility for changing your consciousness, them embark upon a plan to do so.
Two powerful tools that you can employ to change your consciousness and to reprogram your unconscious tapes are affirmation and visualization. Affirmations are statements of truth about yourself or your circumstances as you wish them to be. They are best stated as having already occurred since, according to Maltz, "The unconscious cannot tell the difference between a fact and a repeated statement of expected outcomes." They are most powerful when stated in the form of the verb to be, e.g., "I am," "I have," etc. in active voice. When a statement like "I am in my true place doing work I enjoy for a proper reward" is internalized with conviction, the unconscious mind has no choice but to move you in the direction of your goal. Remember, you are affirming all the time. Anything you say or think to yourself, about yourself with strong feeling or strong expectation, is an affirmation--either negative or positive. The results will follow proportionately. A word of caution about affirmations. Don't expect to use affirmations to help yourself create belief in a goal that is totally unreasonable. If you are a fifty year old unemployed engineer with a B.S. degree, there is little logic for you to set a goal to become a brain surgeon. While not impossible, the achievement of such a goal is highly inconsistent with your unconscious mind's ability to accept such an idea and create the necessary belief required to propel you in the stated direction. The result will be unconscious rejection and conscious confusion which will result in great frustration and your tendency to reject the process as ineffective. But there is nothing ineffective about the process, only the way in which you are using it. Set goals, and formulate their corresponding affirmations, that are within the realm of your capabilities so that true belief can be internalized and the necessary power generated.
Visualization is the creation of the inner picture of the successful outcomes we desire. We can visualize either with our eyes open or closed. Essentially, we are visualizing all the time, either the disaster we expect or the triumph we expect. Our true expectation is the goal that we must achieve. To be most effective, visualization is a technique that you should employ daily, maybe several times daily to focus on the picture, in mind, that you want to bring into manifestation. It is best accomplished at the same time or times each day and in a period of quiet that may be called meditation, contemplation, or prayer. During this period your goal is to create the "mental equivalent" of the desired outcome and to attempt to think and feel about it as you would if it had already come to pass. A part of this process is to achieve a consciousness of joy and thankfulness--exactly as you will when the condition is achieved. If you are willing to commit to a rigorous routine of using the tools of affirmation and visualization you will fulfill your requirement to maintain the positive attitude or high consciousness that you must develop and maintain in order to attain your goal. All you are doing is controlling your thoughts and feelings to create belief in the desired outcome and you are building your self-confidence in the process. By doing so you will become committed to the final, action step. Step 5--Work with Total Commitment. No matter how well you plan and no matter how hard you work to develop your inner power, nothing can replace the persistence to execute the strategies in your plan. Most people go through life using excuses for their failures such as, I'm not smart enough, I'm not good enough, I'm not well educated enough. But those are all cop-outs that we give power to. If you don't succeed it is because you haven't developed a success consciousness and committed yourself to your goal. If you don't have a degree, but you've worked in a position where most peers possess a degree, the lack of a degree is only a factor in a job search if you allow it to become one. If you are middle-aged and you are competing with younger people, your age is a factor only if you allow it to become one. After all, nothing is as valuable as your ability to do whatever you do. Your job is to use the process of motives, attitudes, and methods to sell yourself as a product successfully.
The willingness to do what has to be done will do more to determine the success of your campaign than any other factor. Commitment is not an abstract concept, it is the very essence of achieving any worthwhile objective. There is no substitute for commitment. no matter how intrinsically worthy your goal may be. Madeleine York York Career Development, Inc. Houston-Austin 866-502-8258 office 512-565-8506 mobile www.yorkinc.com myork@yorkinc.com
The Preconditions of Goal Setting
The Preconditions of Goal Setting By Madeleine York Are you a Goal Setter? Do you think diligently and carefully about what it is you want to achieve and then go after it with total commitment? If you do, you are among the very few. Research has revealed that only about four percent of the people in this country have written goals, while ten or eleven percent have a few goals “in mind.” Then we wonder why nothing ever works for us, since we often feel like a rudderless ship on a storm-tossed sea. Most of us ‘wish’ for things to happen, and yes, we may even write a few thoughts down now and again but…. Unfortunately, what most of us do is chart our lives like the person driving around New York with a map of Los Angeles. We know we want to get somewhere but we have the wrong directions to get to our destination. How do we create our own map—the one that will lead us to the happiness and fulfillment we all truly deserve? Our first step should be to consider whether or not your goals are achievable. Establishing goals to direct your life by is essential, but they must be ones that you believe are realistic. For instance, if you are a 65-year-old person, you may find a goal of winning the marathon highly desirable but unrealistic. However, entering or even finishing the marathon is realistic as long as you have done the necessary training. In addition to being realistic, a goal must be believable. A person graduating from law school has the credentials to practice law, and may have set a goal to open his or her own office, but if that person does not believe in his/her talents it is unlikely that a flourishing career is on the horizon. It’s been said that, “What the mind of man can conceive and believe, it achieve.” While we often say, “When I see it I’ll believe it,” we should say, “When I believe it I’ll see it.” The second step to consider is whether the goal is acceptable. This concept is difficult to appreciate since it appears obvious that one would only set goals, which provide happiness or success. Unfortunately, it may be your unconscious mind driving your actions and if your consciousness does not consider you to be worthy of the good you seek, it is unlikely that you will reach the desired destination. For instance, the attorney who is unable to accept his true place in the professional world may well be driven by fear of success. If that program has been internalized, it is unlikely that success is an acceptable concept to that person. I often work with people who are working well below their levels of ability and education. Unless and until they can reprogram their inner self, their unconscious computer, they will continue to find certain goals unacceptable, even those greatly desired. If you believe your goal is truly achievable and acceptable, you are now ready to move to the five step model that will propel you to success which you read on this blog. Madeleine York York Career Development, Inc. Houston-Austin 866-502-8258 office 512-565-8506 mobile www.yorkinc.com myork@yorkinc.com
Winning the inner battle
Winning the inner battle is directly related to your ability to control the
way you "see" yourself and the value you represent. Because every person is
unique, it is imperitive that we focus on our talents, the skills we can
acquire, and our gifts, the attributes we receive from Nature. No matter
what we may have come to believe about ourselves from negative or contrary
experiences, each person possesses qualities that provide value and
employabiliy in some form or fashion. Next, we'll discuss the DATA model Good day and good work, Norman Norman J. York, President
York Career Development, Inc.
3307 Northland Drive, Suite 280
Austin, TX 78731
Austin: 512-502-8258
Houston: 866-502-8258
Cell: 512-656-8239
Web site: www.yorkinc.com "Your vision will become clear only
when you look into your heart.
Who looks outside, dreams
Who looks inside, awakens"
Carl Jung
Changing your inner picture
We've all heard the expression, "Garbage in; garbage out." While that's true
of a PC or laptop, it's also true of the inner computer. Whatever pictures
we're putting in, become what is out-pictured in our experience. So, if we
"see" ourselves from a negative perspective, with failure, anger,
resentment, etc., our life's experience will be reflective of that
negativity. On the other hand, if we "choose" to see ourselves from a
positive perspective, we will experience positive results. The critical word
is choice. In short, our lives and our ability to be happy and fulfilled is
a choice, whether or not we are will to take that responsibility. This gets us back to self-worth or the lack thereof. There are several ways
that we can change the picture. First, change the program. Choose to see
yourself from a positive perspective by deliberately engaging in positive
"self-talk" creating a "can and will do" attitude. Avoid saying and thinking
negative things about yourself and others. Look for the good in every
situation. While you don't want to become Pollyanna, when you look for
good, you'll find it most of the time. After all, the only thing you really
control is your attitude, which is created by controlling your thoughts and
feelings that create belief that causes you to take right action. As
mentioned in an earlier message, set little achievable goals; things that
you can do each day. Start each day with a checklist of simple goals, e.g.,
"Go to the store" or "Pick up the kids." And at the end of the day, review
the list and enjoy your achievements. Finally, help others. When you help
another person is some useful way, the person you're really helping is
yourself. Later, more on the inner battle. Good day and good work, Norman Norman J. York, President
York Career Development, Inc.
3307 Northland Drive, Suite 280
Austin, TX 78731
Austin: 512-502-8258
Houston: 866-502-8258
Cell: 512-656-8239
Web site: www.yorkinc.com "Your vision will become clear only
when you look into your heart.
Who looks outside, dreams
Who looks inside, awakens"
Carl Jung
The Glass Ceiling
THE GLASS CEILING IN CORPORATE AMERICA Why It Still Exists By Madeleine York For over 20 years women have struggled with the issues and questions surrounding life on the corporate track. For many, however, that struggle continues today with few concrete answers. Instead, there seems to be even more frustration on both sides of the aisle--how do we integrate two different agendas into one AND be more successful. This is not to suggest that there have not had successes. There are more women owned businesses today than ever before. Women are holding CEO, CFO, and top executive positions but for the most part these positions are held by the women who own their business. Although laws have been passed, schools have adapted to the changes and even the “good ole boy network” has for the most part been impacted, there continues to be discord on both sides of the aisle. Answers such as, “women are more nurturing,” “women learn as infants to care for others,” “women are not tough,” may be truths but they cannot be excuses for success. Integration of men and women in the same corporate hierarchy and politics are two areas where there is little parity. An article in the New York Times Magazine (October 25, 1998) Why the Women Are Fading Away discusses the issue of women in politics and why gender parity continues to be an illusive goal. “ Most women begin (a political career) with community concerns, not ambition” says Harriet Woods, the former president of the National Women’s Political Caucus. On the other hand research suggests that men enter the political arena in search of a career. Women need to have a clear agenda--have a career where helping people is the focus or where helping people is within the scope of their work. There is a significant difference in attitude. A book I strongly recommend for both men and women, Hardball For Women-Winning At The Game Of Business by Pat Heim, PH.D and Susan K. Golant (Penguin Group-1993) suggests that women have “never mastered the subtleties of communicating with men.” Women often try to imitate or copy men’s behavior without either understanding or acknowledging the differences in the male and female culture. The following quotes from women in management positions and leadership roles paint an interesting picture. “I’m a technical ace.” “I work harder than anyone else.” “I’m highly respected by my peers.” “Why have I been passed over--laid off--overlooked?” “Why can’t I be as successful as the men in my company?” Let’s look at the history of women working outside the home. Women initially entered the workplace en masse during the Second World War. By the time the men returned from the war, women had tasted the “sweet smell of success” but were quickly escorted back to their roles as mothers and wives. In the succeeding generations, women decided to re-enter the marketplace and vie for those jobs held by men. This of course was a very different scenario. Women were now asking for and in some cases taking jobs away from the primary wage earner. Additionally, women did not understand how to ‘play the game’. Yes there are rules to the corporate game. To use a sports analogy (football) women were thrown, or they threw themselves, into the middle of the game with no clue about how to play. They were given the ball, ran up and down the field, made a few touchdowns, fumbled more than their male counterparts, got very dirty and accomplished less than their efforts would suggest. If you agree with these conclusions and you agonize for a solution, consider this: learn the rules, play by the rules, then you will be in a stronger position to challenge the rules. It is unfortunate that most women had no mentors along the way, but we didn’t. It’s time to move forward and not back. Here are some forward thinking and acting tips from Pat Heim on How To Be A Hardball Competitor from her book. 1. If you can’t be both liked and respected, make sure you’re respected. 2. Accept that you won’t please everyone (all the time) 3. It’s nice if you can collaborate on decisions, but at times you’ll just have to give the order. 4. A direct approach to conflict will often work better in the long run. 5. You’ve got to compete or expect to get walked over. 6. If you’re the target of the game of attack, take out the leader first. 7. Remember that for men, business is just a game. 8. When the game, argument, conflict is over, it’s over, and your relationship can revert to its previous form. 9. Just because he’s pleasant to you doesn’t mean that he’s not also out to beat you. Our future, and the future of our daughters in the corporate world and our ability to share and partner with the current decisions-makers depends on our willingness to learn to compete in a world in which, for the most part, men make the rules. The only logical way to accomplish this goal is to learn the rules always remembering that you don’t have to act like a man to succeed in the business world, but you can’t get ahead without understanding the male culture. Only then can we achieve a level playing field. Madeleine York York Career Development, Inc. Houston-Austin 866-502-8258 office 512-565-8506 mobile www.yorkinc.com myork@yorkinc.com
Using you goal-setting power
One of the reasons we struggle to achieve our goals is because we are not
aligned between the intellectual idea of the goal and the emotional desire
to achieve it. An intellectually formulated goal without the corresponding
desire is merely wishful thinking. The reality is that when we put
intellect and emotion together we create the power of belief and belief
motivates action. Of course, if we don't believe we can achieve it, the
result is inaction or wrong action. Whatever we can believe, we can achieve
is true. Having a goal with an action plan is the first step; however,
having the desire, the want to, is critical to success and the confidence to
do whatever it takes to make it happen. Another reason that we fail to achieve our goals is because, consciously or
unonsciously, we believe ourselves to be unworthy of the thing we say we
want. Our ability to develop genuine confidence and a true sense of
self-worth is a vital part of the process. Since self-worth, high or low,
often works on the unconscous level, this can be a tough issue. It's not
often easy to know if unworthiness is causing our failure to achieve. For
example, if you come from a generation of poverty, your unconscious computer
may be blocking your ability to believe that you can achieve wealth or even
a higher standard of living. In this case, set little achieveable goals in
order for your inner mechanism to accept the progression to a higher
standard of living, bit by bit. If your life experience has been colored by
failures and miss-deeds, it will likely be harder for you to achieve what
you desire, unless and until your correct the inner picture. More on
correcting the picture later. Good day and good work, Norman Norman J. York, President
York Career Development, Inc.
3307 Northland Drive, Suite 280
Austin, TX 78731
Austin: 512-502-8258
Houston: 866-502-8258
Cell: 512-656-8239
Web site: www.yorkinc.com "Your vision will become clear only
when you look into your heart.
Who looks outside, dreams
Who looks inside, awakens"
Carl Jung
Solving Employee Problems as an Alternative to Outplacement
About seventy-five percent of the candidates who come into outplacement
today lose their jobs because of "fit" issues. Something changes. A new
CEO comes in and brings along his own CFO. Or maybe he doesn't get along
with a member of the team. In short, the marriage doesn't work, and in the
long run, the change will benefit all concerned, if handled with
consideration and compassion.
Despite the fact that some "fit" issues cannot or should not be resolved,
many can be if the firm desires to keep a person who might otherwise be
terminated and is willing to take action early enough to address the problem
and to formulate a solution before the issues grow beyond the point of
remediation. Three reasons.
First, even with competent outplacement counseling and support, job loss is
a challenge that will continue to test the mettle of the displacement
employee and his family. While most outplacement candidates do find new
opportunities commensurate with their former positions, the strain on their
psychological, social, physical, and financial resources is a challenge that
can well be avoided under certain circumstances.
Second, the effective cost to the firm of termination and replacement can
easily exceed one hundred percent of the employee's total annual cash
compensation when the cost of severance, outplacement, and search are
considered. Not to mention the indirect costs of lost productivity, morale,
and trust on the part of remaining employees. Finally, finding and keeping good people will become increasingly difficult
as firms begin to experience the full impact of the poor quality of American
education and a diminished work ethic on the part of available employees.
A major thrust of the work of York Career Development now and in the future
is to intervene within an organization in order to remediate the
interpersonal difficulties that are frequently the root of the "fit" problem
itself. I recently worked with a senior executive of a major corporation
who had brought the organization through the dark days of the recession and
had led it to an acceptable level of profitability only to find himself "out
of sync" with his new boss, whose leadership style and philosophy were
different. Understanding the effective reality of the direct and indirect
costs associated with the situation could have saved this valuable employee.
The time to initiate the remediation process is when things begin to go sour
between an executive or an organization and an individual or group. I
frequently ask a client, when I am called in to discuss an impending
termination, "If you could save this person, would you do so," only to be
told, "No, we think it's too late." Had I been given the latitude to work
with this person in a Career Continuation Program, the only risk would have
been the loss of a few weeks. Because, if we were unable to effect a
satisfactory solution, the modest fee that I would have charged for my
services, would have been credited to a full executive outplacement fee. And
if we do not succeed and the person is terminated, everyone can take
satisfaction in the effort that was made. A few month ago, we began a Career Continuation Program with the controller
of one of our high-tech clients. Yet two weeks after we began to work with
the individual and his boss, we all concurred that it was too late and that
the employee would be better off to leave. In a sad post mortem, the CEO
said, "If we had brought you in six months ago, this thing could have had a
different outcome."
I suspect that his words apply to many situations. Norman J. York, President
York Career Development, Inc.
3307 Northland Drive, Suite 280
Austin, TX 78731
Austin: 512-502-8258
Houston: 866-502-8258
Cell: 512-656-8239
Web site: www.yorkinc.com "Your vision will become clear only
when you look into your heart.
Who looks outside, dreams
Who looks inside, awakens"
Carl Jung
Networking requires commitment--commitment to finding contacts and converting them to relationships. However, getting referrals, i.e., new people to contact, is the life's blood of the network. At the end of any conversation, interview or otherwise, your last step is to ask, "Who do you know who may be able to give me guidance and help me find direction.?" Such a simple question will usually generate one or more names of people who become a part of your network, at least temporarially. Understanding the nature of the relationship between the referer and the refered is important in order for you to make the connection when you call for an appointment.The connection is critical, because people will sometimes be willing to meet with you, not because they have an interest in you, but because they don't wish to offend the friend who referred you. Next we will deal with the power of your goal to move you past the obstacles to success. Good Day and Good Work, Norman York
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